Enko

[Black Watch]

@SealedSoul: Is this a new policy, about not letting coordinators join OMNI? In the anime, other than the BC-dominated AF, no one really cared about having Coordinators in their ranks. Even the AF would allow Coordinators to serve in the military as long as they remained loyal to the AF (dunno if this policy got dropped near the end of the FBVW). Kira Yamato was part of the AF military until he left and went neutral. On AD, I found a profile in which the character was a Coordinator and part of the Atlantean military. Also, Atlantean President Franklin has a positive view of coordinators:

Changes also meant that there Coordinators were more commonly accepted, although Naturals were far more dominant in position and numbers.

Given his history, I can't see him changing his mind like that.

In GSD, regular natural pilots were trained to use gundams. The Forbidden Vortex (yeah it's a gundam) and the Destroy come to mind. Piloting a gundam (not equipped with DRAGOONS or Gunbarrels) isn't much different from piloting a grunt suit, so one could say that the pilot schools train pilots to possibly use gundams.

You forgot the South African Union.

[Sealedsoul]

Almost there,
As Luna pointed out, Gundam operator should be hanged to Pilot.

But, when he was six his parents died in the "Break the World" incident. He was at school at the time when he got the news.

That doesn't really explain how he survived the Junius Seven drop by just being at school.

He even came to terms with the fact that he's a coordinator.

You forgot to change that, HOWEVER, since this is in character approval instead of Character creation, you can become Coordinator. But then you would need to expand the profile as the standard goes up.

and check your spelling and grammar.

After those changes your pretty much in.

@BlackWatch: By all means you can be Coordinator in EA, but if so the profile will not comply to the standard character profile, on the basis of having a complicated history.

Also Pilots were not Trained specifically for Gundams, there were trained for MS combat. With the exceptionally skilled and experienced pilots moving on to Gundams. Therefore, there is always a chance to pilot one.

[Enko]

ok I'm like out of ideas on how to expand on it so I'm just adding and modding to your opinons so anything else? if not then well I hope I'm in if so please don't hesitate to just say something

[Sealedsoul]

You may have been confused on what i said.
If you are to become a coordinator, it means you need to increase the profile quality. Not just any Coordinator will be accepted into EA.

The reason is to ensure that the player matches the character.

With those changes made you will fit the standard character profile and be allowed to RP with it.

[Enko]

ok well its fixed I'm a natural

[Sealedsoul]

Your profile is now being reviewed.
As now it conforms with Standard Character profile you may begin RPing with it.

[liubei013]

Please follow the template by using Bold on the character info headers.

Full name: Enko Regadashi

Personality:
(The following are my suggested revisions)

Enko usually dives into his work. He loves piloting. He is very smart but he knows when to have a good time. He is also very passive as he normally doesn't fire the first shot. But, when in a battle he does give everything he's got.

He is dedicated to anything and everything he does or will do. And never gives up.

Those two sentences could be combined.

Appearance:

His hair is worn down, he has short bangs and has to right above his shoulders by and inch.

I'm a bit confused as to what you're trying to convey at the latter half of that sentence.

kaki --> khaki

History:
I noticed Enko was born AT JOSH-A. But other than living for the military, you could've added further about his childhood being born into essentially a military family.

He was at a bording school military school in JOSH-A at the time when he got the news.

'boarding'
And you used 'school' twice. I could be wrong, but I doubt there were military boarding schools, especially for those Enko's age.

He basically lived for and in the military. He went to a military academy. Got good grades and dreamed of piloting a Gundam.

The 3rd sentence is a fragment.

So to him he thought it would look good to dye his hair blue and ever since then he dyes his hair a dark blue. Even though he was smart in class he acted out about a lot of things just because he didn't agree with them. As a child he was very violent, but protective of Tori at all times.

I just realized this, but the above mentioned sentence of that paragraph:

He basically lived for and in the military. He went to military academy.

His 'attitude' that was detailed in the same paragraph seems to contradict that sentence. If he 'lived for' something, I wouldn't consider him hating it.

Because of the deaths of his parents he hated war and the Military.

This could be used as the start of another paragraph about his attitude toward the military. But the problem I pointed out prior still applies.

When five years past Enko turned 18 and knew what he wanted to do. He finished the Military Academy perfectly and wanted to serve in the military if only to eventually pilot a Gundam. But, before he even enlisted he proposed to Tori. At first she rejected it.

The last two paragraphs detailed his coming to terms with the military, his parents' death and so on, but I noticed a complete lack of absence as to WHY his eventual goal was to pilot a Gundam of all things.


Despite how my post looks, you got a good profile here. I think if you address both the grammatical and historical points I raised, it should be ready to go. (Of course, the final word goes to the respective Faction Leader(s))

[Enko]

Thank you liubei013 for those tips and I believe its better now but, I welcome all who could help like I said I feel as if I can't find anything wrong and your comments are very much apprieciated so I can finish this but, as liubei013 said

(Of course, the final word goes to the respective Faction Leader(s))

so I welcome Fraction leaders to help and finish this